Faux friends are like faux fur; they are cheap and embarrass you whenever they get the chance.
While telling the difference between faux fur and real fur is easy, telling the difference between faux friends and real friends can be very difficult. When it comes to friendship, I choose quality over quantity any day.
Being able to identify the people who are true and genuine friends is a skill that every young person should have.
There are 5 questions to ask yourself when trying to determine who is and isn’t a faux friend.
- Does this person encourage you or discourage you from following your dreams?
- Do they undermine your self-confidence in public or private?
- Do they talk excessively about you behind your back? Do you talk behind their back?
- Would they sleep with your boyfriend/girlfriend if given the chance?
- When something good happens for you, is the first thing out of their mouth negative or positive?
If these questions bring to mind a certain person, then this is likely a faux friend; even if that person is you. It is so easy to be jealous of a friend’s success in work, school, or a personal relationship when you aren’t having the same successes.
Friendship isn’t about having the same things as other people do. It isn’t about competing either; your friend’s success should be your success. If your friend’s accomplishments are, in your mind, taking away from your accomplishments or are the cause of your own personal failures, then you aren’t a friend to them… You are an evil eye.
Always remember, you don’t have to explain yourself when ending negative a friendship. Any explanation on your part is a courtesy to them. Full stop.
Friendships are continuously evolving, just as people are. It is really unfortunate when a once supportive friendship turns sour, but these things happen. The best thing for both people at that point might be to make amends or move on.
Life takes twists and turns, especially in your 20’s. We have our highs, and our lows. Jobs, education, love, and money are sending everyone in different directions. There will be connections you have throughout your lifetime, and others that only last a year or two.
With some, even though oceans, time zones, and circumstance keep you apart, you reconnect right where you’ve left off. Months or years apart from each other, and the connection can be as strong as ever. These are the precious few we can carry with us.
Time is too valuable to waste on people who don’t want the best for you. I for one would rather have one real friend, over one thousand faux friends.
Besides, faux friends last a season, and real friends last a lifetime.
I’m Just Not That Way,