Sharing something exciting on social media may seem harmless, because of how easy it is to do, but I encourage you to think twice before posting.
When exciting things are happening the urge to tell everyone you know can take over. But unless you are sure that your goals are going to come to fruition, keep it under wraps until you are.
Ask yourself, “If I fail, am I also prepared to tell everyone I know?”
Like it or not, people will talk about the things you post on social media, and not always in a very positive way either.
Just like you might Facebook stalk the girl from high school who got fat, and talk shit about her, she too can do the same to you.
Your true friends will support you no matter what happens. But explaining to your old classmate, you run into at happy hour, that you didn’t get the job you posted about two weeks ago on Facebook, will only force you to relive the rejection, and cause them to feel uncomfortable for trying to make small talk.
This is not the only reason you should only share hopes and goals with a select few. When you tell people about things you hope for, professionally or personally, it can actually dilute your self confidence.
It is often the case that people will project their insecurities and jealousy onto the situation, and proceed to tell you all the reasons you will probably fail.
Yes, getting feedback from people who love you and want you to succeed is invaluable. Moreover, healthy competition with friends can be a great motivator to move forward and do better. However, think twice if this person has your best interest at heart.
People will intentionally or unintentionally plant seeds of doubt in your mind in order to equal the playing field so to speak.
Having someone who is moving forward or making drastic life changes can be intimidating for those who feel stuck in their own lives. So, they might try to shake your confidence in an effort to make you feel as they do.
When people take pleasure in others’ misfortune, it is not entirely out of cruelty, but out of a sense of self preservation.
Those who feel themselves disadvantaged or jilted will often perceive others who get a new opportunity, or land a coveted job, as suddenly thinking they are better than everyone due to their new position. Which in all likelihood is not the case. However, this is the ‘illogical’ emotional logic that can occur in people.
It is jealousy that has the other person projecting this new persona onto the individual who has achieved or is reaching for a higher goal.
Even when you play off a failure with humility, other people can judge you for it. It is ugly, but it is important to prepare for this. Especially if you are reaching for goals that are above and beyond what others typically achieve.
It is human nature not to want to be on the bottom of the totem poll. We all seek to validate or claim our superiority by putting other people below us to one degree or another.
Reflecting upon why one feels the way they do is essential, in order to avoid this human trap. You should find satisfaction in your own fortune, and sympathize with the failure of others.
One must give themselves the opportunity to recover gracefully from failure. Recovery on social media involves making a spectacle of yourself. Once seen, your post cannot be unseen.
So, the next time you take that leap of faith and apply to that prestigious university or job, tell your mother, not Facebook.
Don’t be That Way… Be Just Not That Way,